Thursday, September 2, 2010
Old Habits Die Hard
My period is due any day now. Why is it that I can't help but hold out a twinge of hope that it WON'T come? Old habits die hard. How many natural cycles of "trying" have I done? Too many to count. How many multiple (expensive) OPKs, or failed pregnancy tests have been peed on and analyzed? A small fortune. Should I know better by now? Yes. My brain knows that it won't happen. I won't get pregnant on my own. But every day that I get closer to my period, I want to believe that by some miracle I'll actually "miss" it. So many people say they know someone that has gone through infertility and then spontaneously became pregnant thereafter. Well, I've done the time. I've put in the effort. Can't I get a miraculous pregnancy, too? Probably not. I have about 2 or 3 more natural cycles before I go on birth control pills again in preparation for IVF #2. Couldn't one of those be "the one"? One can only hope.
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I am sorry :( I hope the time flies before IVF. HUGS
ReplyDeleteWe have an almost zero percent chance of getting pregnant without help and I still hope for a missed period. Hope is evil sometimes!!!
ReplyDeleteWithout hope we have nothing. So hope away, love, and I will hope with you that you don't need the IVF #2 and you have a miracle 'natural' conception :)
ReplyDeleteI completly understand where you are coming from!! But I agree with Suzy that without hope we have nothing. So hope away!! I will continue to say my prayers that you will experience a miracle, whether before or through IVF! Hugs!
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