Day 37

We were planning on having our 2nd opinion appointment right after our vacation on Friday, the 11th.  Prior to leaving for vacation, the office called to reschedule for the 21st.  What's another week I guess?  Also, in my last volleyball game, I fell and sprained my ankle.  The spike was beautiful, but blocked.  Go figure.  I hobbled through half of our vacation with a bruised and swollen foot.  Then I was expecting AF in full force by the start of vacation.  The worst is having to fly all day with that.  The week was seemingly off to a great start.

Now, we're back from vacation and we actually did have a great time!  Lake Tahoe was beautiful - we got some great pictures.  Our lakeview cabin was nice and cozy with a fireplace. Snowmobiling and driving through the mountains was the best part. 

On top of the mountain (9,000 ft or so) on a beautiful, clear sunny day!  Isn't Lake Tahoe crazy blue?  It mirrors the sky.

Emerald Bay and the little island in the middle.  I can't remember what it is called.  We were even in a mini-avalanche on the drive up!

Then, Reno was Reno. We stayed at the Atlantis which is probably one of the nicer casino hotels in Reno. 

We had fun gambling - to a point.  DH bowled, too.  Then, back home again.

But the wierdest thing since my last post is that I'm currently on day 37 of my first full cycle since the IVF.  WTF?  I am a 28-30 day girl, through and through.  AF was scheduled to ruin my vacation, but never showed up.  I had a suitcase full of "feminine hygiene products" and no use for them.  I (and DH!) was happy for that, but curious about the lateness.  The longest unmedicated cycle I've ever had was 36 days, which was years and years ago during the first 6 months of being off the pill.  I waited until we got back from vacation on day 34 to do a pregnancy test leftover from probably a year ago.  I did it the night we got home because I couldn't wait till morning.  Negative.  What else should I expect?  But seriously, what is going on?  Was it the altitude in Nevada that is messing with my cycle?  Is it God playing a cruel joke on us?  I bought a couple of more tests yesterday, but I hesitate to take them.  I've been down this road more times than I can count.  I know what the result will be.  I'll take them.  They'll be negative.  Then AF will come.  I might as well skip the agony and the hope and just wait for it to come like it always does.

Then, back at work on Friday, when we were supposed to be at my infertility consult, the 26 yr old girl in my office that we just hired not even 2 months ago reveals that she is pregnant.  She had told my boss and coworker while I was on vacation.  She's due in September.  She sits right next to me 40 hours per week and - for lack of a better term -  is my assistant.  I congratulated her and played through the pain, but I almost couldn't handle it.  The rest of the afternoon, I concentrated on my computer screen with tears in my eyes, going back and forth to the bathroom to regain my composure.  No one saw.  I'm sure my other co-worker felt my grief as she knows my story and the new girl doesn't. It's not fair.  I felt so sorry for myself.

But wouldn't it be ironic?  We spend thousands of dollars and drive hundreds of miles to do IVF twice unsuccessfully - just to get pregnant all on our own?  It's a nice thought.  I don't believe it.  I'm jinxing it even as I write this.  I'm willing - daring  - AF to come at any moment.