After the less than stellar SA results, we talked to the doc about it today. Bottom line: IVF w/ ICSI is the way to go. So, what else is new? DH is going to keep taking the HCG indefinitely. At least until I get pregnant, dammit! He's also gonna give the non-drinking thing a go and we'll test him again in 3 months.
I called the insurance company. We have $1,100 left of infertility coverage for 2011. The HCG and the SA tests will suck up the rest of that pretty quickly. Obviously, it will not be enough for IVF this year. Financially, we're in no big hurry to get answers or to aggressively seek treatment as we won't be able to do IVF again until January when our 5K limit starts over (after we pay 5K out of pocket!). Still, I've warned DH, I'm only going through that one more time. But we'll cross that bridge when we get there.
In the meantime, I'm going to try not to think about it again. It's the only way to pass the time. It makes me sick to think how far away January seems (and how cold!). But, as time does, it tends to fly by. Fall, football season, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's and bam! it's January already. So I'll just try to enjoy it. That's all I can do!
Monday, August 29, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
Dusting off the Infertility Thoughts
The last 3 months have gone by quickly. Don't the summers always go by quick? I've been in a pretty good place mentally. Beyond the 3-day-a-week reminder via HCG shots for my husband (who calls them 'testosterone' shots to everyone else), I've been able to 'forget' that we struggle with infertility. There hasn't been anything we can DO about it and we're DOing everything we can. No tests to take. No treatments. No stirrups. No drugs (for me anyway). No doctors or nurses. No one asking how things are going in the baby-making department. No bad news. It's been heaven.
As much as we have been looking forward to the long awaited semen analysis results to see if the HCG treatment is making super-swimmers like it should, it is the start of more decision making and more discussions about our infertility. It's been so easy to pretend that we are baby-less by choice, and it's been so easy to pretend that I don't feel a little pang of jealousy at every pregnant woman I see (and they are everywhere!). I have compartamentalized the infertility part of my life in the way back of my brain and have effectively ignored it for 3 glorious months. Until this week.
This week I dusted off the infertility-thinking part of my brain. DH had his SA on Monday and the nurse called him back with the results on Tuesday. Good news and Bad news. Isn't that always the case? The good news was that between March and August, his morphology (shape) went from 1% to 3% (they want at least 5% to do IUI). Improvement is good and could have been largly attributed to not smoking. The bad news was that his total count went from 41 million (they want > 40) to 1 million. Yikes. Also, the immaturity level went from 3% to 17%. What the heck? The nurse didn't think the HCG was doing to the swimmers what they wanted it to. To me, this news was not what I expected. My expectations were much higher. We're not devastated, but highly disappointed.
The nurse suggested DH continue HCG for another month and repeat the SA in case it was a flukey test. She also suggested DH quit drinking liquor (he likes his whiskey) to see if that improves his numbers too. Her opinion was that IVF would be the next step considering these numbers. In any event, we've scheduled a phone consult with the doctor for Aug. 29th to see what he thinks we should do. De ja vu.
As much as we have been looking forward to the long awaited semen analysis results to see if the HCG treatment is making super-swimmers like it should, it is the start of more decision making and more discussions about our infertility. It's been so easy to pretend that we are baby-less by choice, and it's been so easy to pretend that I don't feel a little pang of jealousy at every pregnant woman I see (and they are everywhere!). I have compartamentalized the infertility part of my life in the way back of my brain and have effectively ignored it for 3 glorious months. Until this week.
This week I dusted off the infertility-thinking part of my brain. DH had his SA on Monday and the nurse called him back with the results on Tuesday. Good news and Bad news. Isn't that always the case? The good news was that between March and August, his morphology (shape) went from 1% to 3% (they want at least 5% to do IUI). Improvement is good and could have been largly attributed to not smoking. The bad news was that his total count went from 41 million (they want > 40) to 1 million. Yikes. Also, the immaturity level went from 3% to 17%. What the heck? The nurse didn't think the HCG was doing to the swimmers what they wanted it to. To me, this news was not what I expected. My expectations were much higher. We're not devastated, but highly disappointed.
The nurse suggested DH continue HCG for another month and repeat the SA in case it was a flukey test. She also suggested DH quit drinking liquor (he likes his whiskey) to see if that improves his numbers too. Her opinion was that IVF would be the next step considering these numbers. In any event, we've scheduled a phone consult with the doctor for Aug. 29th to see what he thinks we should do. De ja vu.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
48-72 hours
So as anyone who has had to have (or their spouse has had) a seman analysis, there are certain rules that must be followed prior to the appointed time. Rule #1. Abstinence. One such male must abstain from sex with others (and oneself) for 48-72 hours prior to the appointment. It sounds very easy. But, this 2-3 day window is very difficult. You're supposed to have "fresh" sperm for the appointment, but not so fresh that you can have sex the previous day. You're supposed to abstain for up to 3 days, but you don't want to abstain for much longer than that. So what is one supposed to do? Well, you have to plan for sex. And even though their is a slim to none chance that I can get pregnant the good ol' fashioned way, I'd like to believe by some divine miracle I could. And of course, today is the coveted day 14 of my cycle. Most often the most fertile day of the month. And the appointed seman analysis that we've been waiting 3 months for is on Monday at 11 am. That's right - in exact hours, this is less than 48 hours away. And what have we done? Nothing. That is because in less than the magic 48 hours, my husband must pleasure himself into a tiny cup - all in the name of science (and future babies). So, here I am on a Saturday night, on the eve of our 7th year wedding anniversary, griping about one of the ways this infertility thing has screwed me over (in not the fun way). C'est la vie.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Volleyball Commitment?
To continue the "too hot" theme I've got going, here's a random true story:
I've been playing sand volleyball with my current team for 3 summers. The thing about sand volleyball in the midwest is that even though it's summer, the weather is rarely sunny and 75 degrees for our games. It is either freezing, raining, too buggy, or too hot/sticky. The first summer playing on this league, 2 years ago, a player from the opposite team brought her family. Her brand new family and her two-day old - just got out of the hospital a few hours earlier - newborn. Not only did she bring a very fragile newborn to a dirty sand volleyball game after just checking out of the hospital, but this particular day was one of those 100 degree, humid days. I remember our team talked about how crazy she was and how we couldn't believe she could do that to her newborn. They must have been very committed to their volleyball team!
How lucky have I been to bear witness to this woman and her commitment to sand volleyball? All I could do was shake my head...
I've been playing sand volleyball with my current team for 3 summers. The thing about sand volleyball in the midwest is that even though it's summer, the weather is rarely sunny and 75 degrees for our games. It is either freezing, raining, too buggy, or too hot/sticky. The first summer playing on this league, 2 years ago, a player from the opposite team brought her family. Her brand new family and her two-day old - just got out of the hospital a few hours earlier - newborn. Not only did she bring a very fragile newborn to a dirty sand volleyball game after just checking out of the hospital, but this particular day was one of those 100 degree, humid days. I remember our team talked about how crazy she was and how we couldn't believe she could do that to her newborn. They must have been very committed to their volleyball team!Fast forward 2 years... Last night as we're getting ready to play our game in the hot, humidness, the same woman from the opposing team looked a little bit pregnant. As I looked to the sidelines, I see her husband, her now 2 year-old son and their 2 WEEK old baby girl. She did it again! It is so miserable outside and she dragged both kids to the 9:30 p.m. volleyball game. And get this - they were at a parade outside all evening prior to coming to volleyball.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Summer Heat
Sunday, June 26, 2011
A 10!
A little bit of good news: After DH being on HCG injections 3X per week for a month, we got the testosterone results back from the lab. On a scale of 2.0 - 8.0, DH got a 10.0! A ten! A small victory, yes, but I take what I can get these days. So often on this journey the medical personnel tell you that one thing should happen and then another actually does. This time, what they told us was true. The HCG is lifting his testosterone numbers!
DH will continue the shots indefinitely, but at the end of 3 months (mid-August), he will have another testosterone check and a semen analysis. If the elevated testosterone does it's job, his little swimmers will be in tip-top form or at the very least - improved. At that point, we will re-evaluate our course of action. Either trying on our own (which success seems highly unlikely), IUI (which we've also done unsuccessfully 9 times, but 'might' work this time, but we've heard that one before), or IVF (have to see if the funds are there). We just have to wait and see what the doctor recommends.
DH will continue the shots indefinitely, but at the end of 3 months (mid-August), he will have another testosterone check and a semen analysis. If the elevated testosterone does it's job, his little swimmers will be in tip-top form or at the very least - improved. At that point, we will re-evaluate our course of action. Either trying on our own (which success seems highly unlikely), IUI (which we've also done unsuccessfully 9 times, but 'might' work this time, but we've heard that one before), or IVF (have to see if the funds are there). We just have to wait and see what the doctor recommends.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Another Year
My 31st birthday has come and gone. It was a good day and a good week even. I have nothing bad to say about it. My birthday week consisted of too much food, a party disguised as a BBQ rather than a birthday party, and even a brand new electric fondue pot compliments of my hubby! But as this day comes around each year, I can't help but think about how "old" I am. I know in my mind that 31 is technically not old and I don't necessarily feel old, but why is it that there are some women my age that have two, three, or more children already? Why do I feel the need to compare and compete? With each passing year, I can't help but wonder about how many fertile years I have left? We can't be in this infertility limbo forever, right?!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Keep it in the family?
I got invited to a baby shower for my sister-in-law. An older lady that she knows really, really wanted to have a shower for her even though this is my SIL's third kid. So not only is the gathering for a baby shower (a social landmine), but the shower is 2 hours away for a 3rd kid in which I have to spend the entire car ride with my mother-in-law (MIL) where I drove both ways. Also, MIL and I will be the only ones where English is our first language (my SIL is Mexican American). I'm a glutton for punishment.
On the car ride there, the conversation between my MIL and I drifted to the latest medical tests and forays into infertility treatments, most of which now involve her son rather than me.
Mother-in-law (MIL): You could always use M's sperm (DH's brother, my brother-in-law).
Me: Um, I don't think DH or I would be comfortable with that.
MIL: Well, at least the baby would still be kept in the family.
Me: No. I think it would be too weird. For us, and for M. The baby would be ours, but would also be DH's niece or nephew. Definitely, weird.
Topic dropped. She means well. But, seriously? Even if we adopted a baby that had no genetic connection to any of us, wouldn't the baby still be part of the family? Seriously.
Then, MIL and I were the first to arrive at the shower so we made small talk with our hostess. Of course, the only thing to talk about at a baby shower is children and grandchildren. And how I don't have either. And how I have been married for almost 7 years, with no kids. And how I really do like kids, I just don't have any. And how MIL decides to share that we're "going to a doctor" to help us get pregnant. I couldn't believe MIL started spilling the beans about our "problem" to a complete and utter stranger. And then as if I didn't feel inadequate enough, she goes on and on about how she has 8 grandchildren that live no where near her so DH and I better produce a grandchild so she can have one near her. Also, out of the almost 8 grandkids, only 2 are girls. So, if we do ever get pregnant, we better have a girl.
Sheesh.
God love her, but I couldn't drive home fast enough.
On the car ride there, the conversation between my MIL and I drifted to the latest medical tests and forays into infertility treatments, most of which now involve her son rather than me.
Mother-in-law (MIL): You could always use M's sperm (DH's brother, my brother-in-law).
Me: Um, I don't think DH or I would be comfortable with that.
MIL: Well, at least the baby would still be kept in the family.
Me: No. I think it would be too weird. For us, and for M. The baby would be ours, but would also be DH's niece or nephew. Definitely, weird.
Topic dropped. She means well. But, seriously? Even if we adopted a baby that had no genetic connection to any of us, wouldn't the baby still be part of the family? Seriously.
Then, MIL and I were the first to arrive at the shower so we made small talk with our hostess. Of course, the only thing to talk about at a baby shower is children and grandchildren. And how I don't have either. And how I have been married for almost 7 years, with no kids. And how I really do like kids, I just don't have any. And how MIL decides to share that we're "going to a doctor" to help us get pregnant. I couldn't believe MIL started spilling the beans about our "problem" to a complete and utter stranger. And then as if I didn't feel inadequate enough, she goes on and on about how she has 8 grandchildren that live no where near her so DH and I better produce a grandchild so she can have one near her. Also, out of the almost 8 grandkids, only 2 are girls. So, if we do ever get pregnant, we better have a girl.
Sheesh.
God love her, but I couldn't drive home fast enough.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
46XX and 46XY
The good news is in: DH and I are chromosomaly "normal"! I love the word "normal". It's all relative, isn't it? We have all of our 23 pairs (46 total) of chromosomes. 46XX for me (I'm a girl!) and 46XY for DH (he's a boy!). Besides confirming our genders, the karyotype test let us know that we do not have any chromosomal abnormalities. This is actually a huge relief to me. At least we now know that our embryos weren't destined to quit growing on Day 3 because of faulty DNA. There is hope.The other test results DH got was the IGF1. This is the Insulin-like Growth Factor 1. IGF-1 is a hormone similar in molecular structure to insulin. It plays an important role in childhood growth and continues to have anabolic effects in adults (think steroids). Last time he was tested (prior to quitting smoking) DH's number was 81. This time (after a month of non-smoking) his number was 109. Normal is 131 to 333. So it is still low. Better - but still low. This hormonal problem is outside the realm of infertility hormones (but may play a part) so DH is being referred to a metabolic endocrinologist. This way, my insurance will not look at this diagnosis as an infertility issue, but a hormonal/growth factor issue. Solving this IGF-1 problem may or may not have any effect on DH's fertility, but may improve his overall health.
There is only ONE metabolic endocrinologist in my town, so we scheduled the first available apointment - in mid July! Waiting over 6 weeks for an appointment of any kind is sort of ridiculous. But, it so happens, that my mom is a nurse at this particular clinic. I've asked her to throw her weight around and see if they can squeeze us in earlier. She may not be able to do much about it, but it's worth a shot!
So...now we wait around for another test in mid-June to see if the HCG shots are helping the testosterone. We are still testing, testing, testing. No wonder people jump right into IVF. This process takes FOREVER!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Hot Shots!
On Monday, DH and I took the afternoon off to go to our appointment. We both had blood drawn for karyotype genetic testing. We'll have to wait up to two weeks for the results. The nurse taught us how to administer the HCG shots to my husband to improve his testosterone and semen analysis results. The lesson was a little unnecessary. We already know how to mix the stuff - I think if I count them all, I've received and/or given myself about 11 HCG shots in my life. That's a lot of triggering! The only difference for DH is that he gets a lower dose (2,000 IU instead of 10,000 IU), he has to do it 3 times per week, and the shots have to be administered in his butt (rather than my belly).
So, on Monday, the nurse gave him the shot. And when I got home from work on Wednesday, DH had already given himself the shot. I'm relieved to not have to do it, because I'm sure if I did it, he would complain about how I did it! He'll continue to give himself shots on Mon, Wed, and Fridays. After one month, his testosterone will be checked. After 3 months, his testosterone and semen will be checked. If the HCG is doing its job (and all of our chromosomes are in good order), then he'll continue taking it until we're pregnant. God-willing that will be sooner rather than later!
So, on Monday, the nurse gave him the shot. And when I got home from work on Wednesday, DH had already given himself the shot. I'm relieved to not have to do it, because I'm sure if I did it, he would complain about how I did it! He'll continue to give himself shots on Mon, Wed, and Fridays. After one month, his testosterone will be checked. After 3 months, his testosterone and semen will be checked. If the HCG is doing its job (and all of our chromosomes are in good order), then he'll continue taking it until we're pregnant. God-willing that will be sooner rather than later!
Monday, May 2, 2011
A Start of a Plan?
We have the start of a plan from our second RE and more information to digest! After a month and a half of testing, we still are an enigma as to WHY nothing has worked. The big question is why our embryos did not grow beyond day 3. The primary focus has been on DH. My clomid test was a success (apparently my ovaries just LOVE clomid!). And out of all of the testing that DH did, which included semen analysis, blood testing, urine testing, and an MRI, the results were either normal or were as expected.
So what do we do now? We had a phone consult with the doctor this afternoon. I'm so glad he saved us the gas and time to drive to the clinic by letting us do it over conference call! The goal is to get DH's count, morphology, and testosterone into normal range - or at least higher/better. The plan is to start him on HCG shots (in the ass!), 3 times per week for as long as it takes to get pregnant (ha! - not me!). After one month, we'll test his testosterone levels. After 3 months, his semen and testosterone will be tested again.
The doctor did some research and found a case in Chicago where they found out that the woman had a rare chromosomal issue with her eggs after doing IVF twice and no embryos surviving past Day 3. That story did not give me much hope as it sounds so eerily familiar. I pray that isn't our problem. So, we are going to do genetic testing - specifically karyotype testing. Because if there is a chromosomal issue with my eggs, then whatever we do for DH isn't going to make much of a difference. I say rule it out. Insurance will probably pay for it, but it will apply to my annual infertility limit - which I'm sure we're running low on by now.
We're also going to re-test the one unexpected blood test result for DH. The IGF1 (Insulin Growth Factor)number was 81 where normal is between 113 to 297. If this had been a problem since puberty, my husband would be a shorty. But at 6'2", he is definitely not considered short. We're going to retest this hormone just in case the low number was a fluke or if there was a lab issue, but also because DH is in his 4th week of NO smoking! That may have an impact on this number. The doctor was so proud after hearing of DH quitting smoking - almost ecstatic! So, we're hoping that this IGF1 number improves - otherwise, we may have to look deeper at DH's endocrinoloy and DNA - even beyond that for infertility, but for his general health. yikes.
The doctor indicated that we could take the next 2 and 1/2 months of being smoke-free to see if non-smoking alone improved our situation. If it didn't, we could then start the HCG for the next 3 months. That would put us at waiting 6 months before finding out if we should do IVF again. We weren't fans of that plan. I've been waiting over 4 years to have a kid. Please don't make me wait another 1/2 year. We also are not getting any younger. So we're going to do both at the same time, and hope for the best.
Again, we have a lot to digest. Not sure when we will be doing or starting all of this, but I hope soon. The nurse will be calling in the next few days to set everything up. It feels good to at least have some sort of plan.
So what do we do now? We had a phone consult with the doctor this afternoon. I'm so glad he saved us the gas and time to drive to the clinic by letting us do it over conference call! The goal is to get DH's count, morphology, and testosterone into normal range - or at least higher/better. The plan is to start him on HCG shots (in the ass!), 3 times per week for as long as it takes to get pregnant (ha! - not me!). After one month, we'll test his testosterone levels. After 3 months, his semen and testosterone will be tested again.
The doctor did some research and found a case in Chicago where they found out that the woman had a rare chromosomal issue with her eggs after doing IVF twice and no embryos surviving past Day 3. That story did not give me much hope as it sounds so eerily familiar. I pray that isn't our problem. So, we are going to do genetic testing - specifically karyotype testing. Because if there is a chromosomal issue with my eggs, then whatever we do for DH isn't going to make much of a difference. I say rule it out. Insurance will probably pay for it, but it will apply to my annual infertility limit - which I'm sure we're running low on by now.
We're also going to re-test the one unexpected blood test result for DH. The IGF1 (Insulin Growth Factor)number was 81 where normal is between 113 to 297. If this had been a problem since puberty, my husband would be a shorty. But at 6'2", he is definitely not considered short. We're going to retest this hormone just in case the low number was a fluke or if there was a lab issue, but also because DH is in his 4th week of NO smoking! That may have an impact on this number. The doctor was so proud after hearing of DH quitting smoking - almost ecstatic! So, we're hoping that this IGF1 number improves - otherwise, we may have to look deeper at DH's endocrinoloy and DNA - even beyond that for infertility, but for his general health. yikes.
The doctor indicated that we could take the next 2 and 1/2 months of being smoke-free to see if non-smoking alone improved our situation. If it didn't, we could then start the HCG for the next 3 months. That would put us at waiting 6 months before finding out if we should do IVF again. We weren't fans of that plan. I've been waiting over 4 years to have a kid. Please don't make me wait another 1/2 year. We also are not getting any younger. So we're going to do both at the same time, and hope for the best.
Again, we have a lot to digest. Not sure when we will be doing or starting all of this, but I hope soon. The nurse will be calling in the next few days to set everything up. It feels good to at least have some sort of plan.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Easter Memories
Every family has traditions especially around certain holidays. Easter is no exception. My family had the Easter bunny to bring the kids treats and a small gift. But we didn't get gifts like it was Christmas like other families did. Some years we had dyed eggs and egg hunts. Other years we had kites and chocolate. But no matter what, we always had fun!
These days, Easter is not as 'fun' as it used to be. I know, I know. The true meaning of Easter isn't necessarily the "fun". But still. My family gets together and there are no little kids running around. There are no kites. My mom did get some chocolate for me, so that was good. The great thing about having children around during holidays is that adults can be kids again, too. It would seem silly if all of us adults dyed eggs and then went on a hunt for them. But throw in a 3 year old and all of sudden, it's a family affair!
So, today on Easter Sunday, my family and I ate [a lot] and hung out and talked and watched TV like adults do. It was nice, but not necessarily "fun". Someday my kid(s) will be there to put some fun into the day. I can't wait for that someday!
These days, Easter is not as 'fun' as it used to be. I know, I know. The true meaning of Easter isn't necessarily the "fun". But still. My family gets together and there are no little kids running around. There are no kites. My mom did get some chocolate for me, so that was good. The great thing about having children around during holidays is that adults can be kids again, too. It would seem silly if all of us adults dyed eggs and then went on a hunt for them. But throw in a 3 year old and all of sudden, it's a family affair!
So, today on Easter Sunday, my family and I ate [a lot] and hung out and talked and watched TV like adults do. It was nice, but not necessarily "fun". Someday my kid(s) will be there to put some fun into the day. I can't wait for that someday!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Positively Bloody
Looking through my past posts, I seem to be giving off a bit of a negative vibe. I don't mean to. I think I mostly try to stay positive in my real life so much that the rest of it gets jotted down in this blog. Unfortunately, when I do that, there's not much positiveness left to write about. So, I'm going to try to be a bit more positive in this post - or at least use more exclamation points!
I went to the RE on Friday to have my Day 2 ultrasound. It's funny because this process is SO routine for me. When the staff at the clinic asks if I've had an ultrasound before, I almost laughed. When the PA asked if I've taken clomid before and if I understood the risks of multiples, I just smiled and said that I've been there. I feel like such an old pro! I'm also getting pretty good at driving in really crappy weather. A spring snowstorm can't stop me from getting to my ultrasound on time!
On Saturday, I went to the hospital's lab for some blood work. Again, I'm a pro at this too. My veins don't always cooperate, but I can handle the needle. The girl (who looked about 19) got me on the first poke. After a few twists and turns of the needle, two vials slowly filled up. Cotton ball and tape and pressure and I was on my way. As I walked out of the room, I pulled my sweatshirt sleeve down and I felt something wet on my arm. I was bleeding all over from my arm, through my sweatshirt and dripping down my arm. I turned around and said, uh, I think I need a new bandage. The girl was very apologetic. It happens.
Tomorrow I start 100mg of clomid for 5 days. Then more blood work on Saturday at the hospital. Hopefully next Saturday's blood draw doesn't ruin my sweatshirt!
I went to the RE on Friday to have my Day 2 ultrasound. It's funny because this process is SO routine for me. When the staff at the clinic asks if I've had an ultrasound before, I almost laughed. When the PA asked if I've taken clomid before and if I understood the risks of multiples, I just smiled and said that I've been there. I feel like such an old pro! I'm also getting pretty good at driving in really crappy weather. A spring snowstorm can't stop me from getting to my ultrasound on time!
On Saturday, I went to the hospital's lab for some blood work. Again, I'm a pro at this too. My veins don't always cooperate, but I can handle the needle. The girl (who looked about 19) got me on the first poke. After a few twists and turns of the needle, two vials slowly filled up. Cotton ball and tape and pressure and I was on my way. As I walked out of the room, I pulled my sweatshirt sleeve down and I felt something wet on my arm. I was bleeding all over from my arm, through my sweatshirt and dripping down my arm. I turned around and said, uh, I think I need a new bandage. The girl was very apologetic. It happens.
Tomorrow I start 100mg of clomid for 5 days. Then more blood work on Saturday at the hospital. Hopefully next Saturday's blood draw doesn't ruin my sweatshirt!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Patience
The last couple of weeks have been okay. Day by day. I consider myself a pretty patient person, for the most part. People often comment that I'd have to be very patient to put up with my husband! And that man can aggravate, that's for sure. Joking aside, however, infertility has put my patience to the ultimate test. Time just goes on and on and on. Working on one thing after another, test after next text, phone call after phone call, ultrasound after ultrasound, doctor bill after doctor bill. Pretty soon 3 months have gone by. Then another 6 months, or so. And you're still right where you started. You haven't gotten anywhere.
It's been almost a month since our initial consult with our new RE. Still no real plan of action has been put in place, but a heck of a lot of tests. All of the latest blood tests and urine tests that DH has been subjected to have come back "normal". Whatever that means. They were waiting on one more test result, but I'm guessing that will be "normal" too. I don't know if they will decide to put him on hormone therapy to improve his testosterone or what. We'll see.
AF decided to rear her ugly head again today. Full force. This month she was on time like clockwork, showing up in 29 days. At least it didn't mess with my head by being late. So today is Day 1 for my clomid test. Not exactly sure what the point of this test is, except they want to check my ovary function through a blood test on Day 3 and Day 10 and taking clomid somewhere in between. Ok. I'll do it. Whatever you want. So, I get to take off of work early to get an ultrasound tomorrow - while on my period. I hate those. Luckily, they are letting me do the bloodwork at my local hospital instead of driving all of the way to the clinic two Saturdays in a row.
In other news, DH has been on Chantix for over 2 weeks. His official "quit day" of smoking was Monday, April 11th. He's cheated a little bit every day - having about 1 cigarette each day this week, but this is seriously the best he has ever done in the attempt to quit. And coming down from a full pack a day is not an easy feat. The house is smelling better along with his breath! Also, the extra $6 per day is already adding up. I hope this sticks. We're only on Day 4 of this, but I'll keep shelling out the $140 per month for chantix (not covered by my insurance) as long as it takes. It's cheaper than smoking!
So, we'll wait for the test results for DH. We'll wait for the test results for me. Then we'll wait to see if the non-smoking has any effect over a 3 month timeframe (puts us to July). Then we'll see if any other therapies have done their job. Then we'll see. Patience. Patience. Patience!
It's been almost a month since our initial consult with our new RE. Still no real plan of action has been put in place, but a heck of a lot of tests. All of the latest blood tests and urine tests that DH has been subjected to have come back "normal". Whatever that means. They were waiting on one more test result, but I'm guessing that will be "normal" too. I don't know if they will decide to put him on hormone therapy to improve his testosterone or what. We'll see.
AF decided to rear her ugly head again today. Full force. This month she was on time like clockwork, showing up in 29 days. At least it didn't mess with my head by being late. So today is Day 1 for my clomid test. Not exactly sure what the point of this test is, except they want to check my ovary function through a blood test on Day 3 and Day 10 and taking clomid somewhere in between. Ok. I'll do it. Whatever you want. So, I get to take off of work early to get an ultrasound tomorrow - while on my period. I hate those. Luckily, they are letting me do the bloodwork at my local hospital instead of driving all of the way to the clinic two Saturdays in a row.
In other news, DH has been on Chantix for over 2 weeks. His official "quit day" of smoking was Monday, April 11th. He's cheated a little bit every day - having about 1 cigarette each day this week, but this is seriously the best he has ever done in the attempt to quit. And coming down from a full pack a day is not an easy feat. The house is smelling better along with his breath! Also, the extra $6 per day is already adding up. I hope this sticks. We're only on Day 4 of this, but I'll keep shelling out the $140 per month for chantix (not covered by my insurance) as long as it takes. It's cheaper than smoking!
So, we'll wait for the test results for DH. We'll wait for the test results for me. Then we'll wait to see if the non-smoking has any effect over a 3 month timeframe (puts us to July). Then we'll see if any other therapies have done their job. Then we'll see. Patience. Patience. Patience!
Saturday, April 2, 2011
The Elephant in the Room
It's been a difficult week with my little brother's announcement. I've received calls and a visit from my mother. Outside of the first phone call, we simply are not discussing the elephant in the room. I don't bring it up and she doesn't bring it up. I love the communication in our family: unpleasantness is avoided like the plague. Mother wants to know all about what we're trying to do to get pregnant now. I guess I gotta keep pace. I've received a few texts from my brother, but definitely not about the so-called elephant. I also ran into my uncle while out to lunch with DH this week. "Great news about your brother, right?", he says. "Yeah", I say. He responds, "Maybe they can have two and send one up your way." "Yeah", I say, "A regular baby factory". He meant well anyway.
I told a few of my co-workers about my brother's great news. The ones that know our predicament (if you want to call it that) had sympathy written all over their faces. I only almost-cried one time when my co-worker said she wanted to give me a hug when I told her. I hate hugs. Nothing but emotional trouble. I said thanks and promptly turned around to my computer and suddenly became engrossed in work. Ugh. I just want to curl up in bed and ignore everything and everyone. But, alas, life goes on. One must eat, sleep, go to work and make an effort. Put on a [relatively] happy face. So I do.
In other news, DH's MRI scan of his pituitary gland came back completely "normal". Whatever that means. This is good, in a way. At least if there was something abnormal with it, we could have found some sort of a culprit. The DNA results of his semen analysis came back as expected: kinda crappy. They test the damage and they test the immaturity of the DNA. They want both to be less than 15%. DH's damage was at about 16% and immaturity was at about 22%. Not surprising since the immaturity goes hand in hand with morphology - and his sits at 1%. After telling DH all of this, I laid it out there: I'm willing to go through IVF one more time, but after that, I'm done. We'll look to donor sperm or something else if the IVF doesn't work again.
That being said, DH had bloodwork drawn on Friday and then gets the exciting task of doing a 24 hour urine test tomorrow, Sunday. He has a big, orange jug that he gets to piss in all day. He then will slug and slosh the jug o' pee up to the lab on Monday morning. Ah, what we put ourselves through. It still boggles my mind. The nurse I talked to said they would review the results next week and come up with some sort of "plan of action" for us. We'll just have to wait and see what they come up with.
I told a few of my co-workers about my brother's great news. The ones that know our predicament (if you want to call it that) had sympathy written all over their faces. I only almost-cried one time when my co-worker said she wanted to give me a hug when I told her. I hate hugs. Nothing but emotional trouble. I said thanks and promptly turned around to my computer and suddenly became engrossed in work. Ugh. I just want to curl up in bed and ignore everything and everyone. But, alas, life goes on. One must eat, sleep, go to work and make an effort. Put on a [relatively] happy face. So I do.
In other news, DH's MRI scan of his pituitary gland came back completely "normal". Whatever that means. This is good, in a way. At least if there was something abnormal with it, we could have found some sort of a culprit. The DNA results of his semen analysis came back as expected: kinda crappy. They test the damage and they test the immaturity of the DNA. They want both to be less than 15%. DH's damage was at about 16% and immaturity was at about 22%. Not surprising since the immaturity goes hand in hand with morphology - and his sits at 1%. After telling DH all of this, I laid it out there: I'm willing to go through IVF one more time, but after that, I'm done. We'll look to donor sperm or something else if the IVF doesn't work again.
That being said, DH had bloodwork drawn on Friday and then gets the exciting task of doing a 24 hour urine test tomorrow, Sunday. He has a big, orange jug that he gets to piss in all day. He then will slug and slosh the jug o' pee up to the lab on Monday morning. Ah, what we put ourselves through. It still boggles my mind. The nurse I talked to said they would review the results next week and come up with some sort of "plan of action" for us. We'll just have to wait and see what they come up with.
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