Communication

It would be great if my clinic would communicate a little better than they do.  I don't know if all RE offices are this way since I don't have any experience outside of this one, but is it too much to ask for a daily update? I mean they are holding our future children hostage right now. Is it too much to ask that they let us know if we aren't doing the transfer prior to making the 2 hour drive to the clinic?  It can't be that complicated.

Yesterday, Day 2 post-retrieval, I waited all day for a phone call.  By 2:00, I hadn't heard anything so I called and left a message with the nurse's station.  Sheryl called back about 3:30.  The lab was 'closed' so she couldn't get an exact update on our embryos, but 'no news was good news'.  That, however, doesn't really hold true for me anymore since last time.  Driving all the way to the clinic with a full bladder after 2 days of  'no news is good news', fully expecting a transfer, just to get slapped in the face that the embryos quit growing after Day 3.  No news is good news?  Yeah, right.  So, I asked Sheryl to talk to the lab and call with a more precise update today, Day 3. 

We set up the transfer appointment for 10:15 am on Thursday (Day 5).  I told Sheryl that we didn't want to make the drive for the transfer if there wasn't going to be anything to transfer.  Her response made it seem like it was more complicated than that  - we still would need to come into the clinic regardless. Couldn't I call before making the drive (since it's later in the morning) to see?  Or can they not look at the embryos or disturb the embryos until I get there?  She talked about when I would start estrace next week and about taking my blood test on February 4th, but I really can't think about that stuff right now.  It might not happen.  I can't be too hopeful.  We just need to get to Thursday all intact, all alive.

DH was less than thrilled with the response from the clinic on Monday, so he took it upon himself to call the clinic this morning.  Sheryl had an update for him , if not an unscientific one.  (She actually picked up the phone - I always seem to be leaving messages).  Both embryos are still 'viable'.  One embryo is growing more than the other and seems to be doing 'better' than the other.  That's it, really.  Maybe that's why they don't give updates - they are actually pretty worthless anyway.  No news is good news.

Today is/was Day 3 post-retrieval.  Many clinics would do a transfer on Day 3.  Not mine.  On Monday, I asked Sheryl what the pros and cons of a day 3 vs. day 5 transfer would be.  (Maybe this should be a question to the doctor, but again, communication from the docs is worse than with the nurse). I got the same story about doing the transfer just to wait to get a negative pregnancy test.  Whereas waiting till Day 5 and the blast stage may prevent the waiting if it was going to be a BFN anyway.  The liklihood of pregnancy is greater because if the embryos can make it the blast stage they have a better chance at surviving in the womb (or so I'm told).  I don't know which is worse - the waiting to see if these embryos will live to see Day 5 or doing the transfer on Day 3 anyway and waiting for a BFN.  Probably waiting for the BFN is worse, but right now, I just want those embryos in me.  It's driving us absolutely batty.

So, tomorrow I'm having DH call the clinic again for an update.  Then we're gonna call for a final update before we make the drive on Thursday (whether or not they'll tell us anything).  It's just one LONG day at a time.