Harnessing Happiness

Is there a way to harness happiness?  Catch it or save it for later?  Or keep it forever?  If any of you find a way to do this, please let me know. 

When we did our retrieval on Wednesday and we scored 15 eggs, I was on cloud 9.  Happy; a bit of a high.  This might just work and I pulled a great number.  Then the next day, we found out there were only 6 fertilized embryos.  A low.  Hopeful, but still a little low.  Then yesterday.  We hear there is only one left and there is no biopsy to give us any answers.  Way low. 

The husband and I decide to make the trip last night instead of this morning due to the crappy weather.  We make the drive in a depressed mood.  We got a nice hotel, pretty cheap, on Priceline.  We ordered room service.  (Ungodly expensive, but oh SO good.  This food did not disappoint!)  The whole time we ate and watched free Showtime, we were kind of in the dumps.  Our expectation is that when we show up at the clinic, we will be there only long enough for them to tell us there is nothing to transfer.  Zero.  That is what we prepare ourselves for.  We're already thinking about next steps.  Donor sperm? Egg donation?  Adoption?  A thousand thoughts and scenarios are going through our heads, but nothing prepared us for what actually happened today.

I woke up this morning in a big, King size bed, took a shower, and began drinking the necessary water to get a nice full bladder.  Ya know, just in case we have something to transfer.  I took my valium as prescribed and husband gave me the daily progesterone shot.  I even eat some pineapple.  You know, just in case.

We make our way to the clinic and don't have to wait long till they call us back.  There is another couple who will be doing a transfer there.  We've been here before.  We're here to be told there is nothing to transfer.  We put our stuff down in a room with a rolling bed.  The nurse asks to weigh me.  Husband and I look at each other.  Ok.  I come back and she hands me a nice warm gown and blanket to put on.  Husband and I look at each other again.  What's going on?  Could there be something to transfer?  They wouldn't give me a gown for no reason, right?

Then the doctor comes in.  Our wonderfully goofy doctor, who we thought would be on vacation, was there with a document that described the status of the 6 fertilized embryos.  Not only do we have a surviving "B" embryo, we have a second one.  Two?  What?   In shock, I say, "We thought there was only one".  The doc explained that the second embryo "caught up" with the first in growth and is now considered a "B" embryo, too.  There were also 2 more embryos that were graded "C"s and the last two were pretty much stalled and no longer viable.  The Cs are not likely to make it to Day 5, let alone to freeze.  But, the unbelievable thing to us, is that we have TWO!  Two Bs to transfer.  We made it to transfer! We could hardly contain our excitement!

We proceed with transferring 2 embryos.  I'm feeling good with my valium.  They bring us back to the room to do the transfer.  Everyone is giddy and smiling (you can tell even with those masks on), making jokes about red-headed girls being transferred.  I insist that would be pretty good, as I know some very nice red-headed girls!  Happy, Happy, Happy.

The transfer goes smoothly, I lay for an hour, drive to the clinic to do a quick acupuncture treatment, and then we make the drive home.  Here I am on bed rest and technically - for now - pregnant.  And happy high again.  Like I said, I just want to harness this happy energy for as long as possible.  At least until our pregnancy test.  What a rollercoaster!