Disappointment

Doing the 2 hour drive this morning, we were full of hope for our transfer. We should have took the heavy rain as a bad sign. We had received no calls the last two days that would make us think that our final 2 embryos didn't survive. I held my pee (a full bladder ready for transfer) as I paid the receptionist our final [big] IVF payment. We waited. The nurse called us back and sat us down to wait for the doctor. Bad sign. The doctor came and immediately said she was 'sorry'. Bad news. The two embryos quit growing after day 3. Day 5 looks like day 3. Done. No transfer. No baby. No more money. The doctor kept talking about our situation, eggs, blastocysts, sperm, etc, etc. I kept holding my tears (and my pee), and I tried to listen. We can call her this weekend once we have re-grouped to ask questions and actually have a 'discussion'. But, what's there to talk about? I don't know.