One minute, I'm fine. The next, I'm crying in the bathroom stall at work.
One minute, I can not possibly imagine my life without a child to love. The next, I think I could be at peace without one.
One minute, I'm completely positive; glass half full. The next, I'm completely negative; glass half empty.
One minute, I think it is my destiny to have a child of my own. The next, I think it is not meant to be.
One minute, I am full of hope. The next, I am full of despair.
These are the random, rollercoaster thoughts going through my brain every minute, every hour, of every day. These, by far, are the longest days of my life. No phone calls from the clinic today tells me that 'the twins' are still thriving in their little incubater 2 hours away -at least for another day - waiting for me.
Oh hon...thought of you guys so much today. I can relate to so much of what you wrote, I too am constantly back & forth in how I feel about things. It's a pretty intense emotionally roller coaster you're on at the moment so allow yourself to feel whatever it is you need to feel in each moment. Thinking of you & sending lots of love and prayers your way:)
ReplyDeleteThese days spent waiting to hear and getting ready for transfer are endless. I'm thinking of you and hope your twins thrive beautifully until your transfer.
ReplyDeleteI understand the roller coaster all too well also and am sending (((hugs))) and peace for your head and your heart while you wait.
I am so sorry this cycle is such a rollercoaster ride. I hoped your "twins" are doing well and that they are on their way to a BFP. Hang in there
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Here is to the "twins" becoming TWINS. I know the rollercoaster, and all I can say is tighten the safety belt and know that you have us all waiting to steady you when you need us. HUGS!
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